In the absence of parents who will give advice on life, love and their complications, one can find wisdom in their daily reads. I found this one from today’s issue of the inquirer, contributed by Conchita Razon.
Lessons from my marriage
It’s not important to win every argument. There are no prizes after all. Being right is not really important. Issues do not get resolved if one party retreats to a corner.
Bite your tongue and do not let anger speak out. Words have a way of slipping out, doing irreparable damage and there’s no way to take them back. Wit and sarcasm are first cousins. When let loose, they create mortal wounds.
Talk to one another and learn to whisper. It brings you close.
Pray together. Let the third party be no one else but God.
There is no wrong time to apologize. Hang your pride on the door post. It is not true that love means never having to say you’re sorry. You would not want to miss the sweet tender moments of making up, even if the pillow is still soaked with tears.
Be patient. Two pieces of wood rubbed thoughtfully one against the other, produces a spark. With a gentle breath, it bursts into flame. Do not expect love to blaze with a flick.
Work at your marriage. There are no short cuts. There are bumps on the road but that’s no reason to get out of the car. Learn to travel over them, around them, if necessary take another route, but always together.
Tell each other secrets. Build on your trust for one another.
Love is important, but respect is even more so.
Share your dreams. Make plans. Help one another achieve your goals.
Do not give up on love. Love with all your might. There is no other way. Successful marriage begins when you marry the one you love and blossoms when you love the one you marry. The secret is to fall in love, over and over again, with the same person.
Think together. It is not important to think alike. It is not so much the dance, but that you move together to the same music.
Make a million memories. When the sun starts setting, when friends are few and nights are long, those precious memories will keep you company. No one and nothing can take them away from you. They are yours always.
I will certainly get back to all these, when I get married.
[For now… I will enjoy my freedom, with the company of my siblings. Make up for the lost two years.]
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