Contemplation and rest was the week past. Now, I’m back to Taguig’s hustle-bustle. Actually, today’s day two.
Since I came home nearly dawn yesterday, I felt I have the license to report really late- nearly lunch.
And when I encountered a usual-cause-of-outburst situation, guess how I reacted. Right. Same old, same old. I was justifying my reactions at first. Thanks be to God, the events later on brought me back to reason.
Humbling.
Today’s first reading says:
“Brothers and sisters: If you are guided by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, 21 occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 In contrast, the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.” –Gal. 5:18-25
I am guilty of furious outbursts. I’m like Cory Aquino’s speechwriter. Angry. Tsk.
I’ve been really praying that I be able to control my anger. For a time, I was successful. Until this morning. I was so disturbed by my action, I contemplated about it, and my many other sins this day.
Ang dami! Grabe. At ang inaakala ko, nagbabagong buhay na ko. L ngayon, mas nagiging aware ako sa mga kasalanan ko. Humahaba ang listahan. Habang nagmi-misa kanina, tinanong ko si Lord: “May pag-asa pa ba ‘ko?” Bakit kaya ganon? Palagi akong nagkakasala. Ang hirap palang maging Katoliko. Napaka-hipokrito ko. Inaabuso ko na ang Diyos. Dapat hindi na lang ako magsalita about faith e.
Tapos nanonood ako sa megamall ng kakaibang movie: The 13th Day: A Story of Hope. Tungkol sa apparition ng Blessed Virgin sa Fatima, Portugal. Binili ko ang ticket two Sundays ago.
Paano ko ba ie-explain how the movie moved me? Naalala ko ung homily three weeks ago yata about Our Lady of Sorrows and the message of the cross, meaning of sacrifice and suffering. Ang galing.
Tapos binalikan ko ang reaction ko kaninang umaga. Maling-mali ako. I should learn how to control my emotion. Kailangang baguhin ang pag-iisip nang mabago ang reaksyon sa bawat sitwasyon. Napansin ko lang, the moment I stop being grateful, kapag nag-complain ako at feeling ko na-shortchanged ako, doon nagsisimula ang inis ko at lahat lahat ng di magandang reaksyon sa mga bagay-bagay. Doon ko nakakalimutan kung sino ang may control sa mga nangyayari at nakakaligtaang magtiwala.
So these are the passages that I should forever think about:
Be grateful always. Thes 5:18
God is in control.
I should keep digging on my faith. Mabuti’t mahal ako ng Diyos. Na-enlighten naman din ako bago matulog.
Sana magbago ang istorya bukas.
Amen.
*******
Re Fatima:
Ngayon ko lang na-appreciate kung bakit ganoon ang devotion ng ibang tao tungkol sa pagdadasal ng rosary at sa Immaculate Heart of Mary.
I love my faith!
******
Maganda rin pala itong basahin: The Real Third Secret
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