WHO'S NEXT?:
Nauna ng namatay si DA KING, sumunod
na rin si DA BOY. Sino kaya ang susunod?
Maybe DA GUL.
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NO APPETITE:
Patient: Dok, everytime I see the food they serve to me,
I feel nauseated.
Dok: Just close your eyes when you eat.
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A WIFE'S DEMAND:
Wife: Honey, please take me out naman to an expensive place.
Husband: Okay, lets go to a gas station, then lets visit the
Meralco office.
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A CRISIS:
Male senior citizens are not bothered by the rice crisis. They
are more concerned with rise crisis.
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A WRONG HEARING:
Customer: Waiter, please give me the best food in this
restaurant.
Waiter: You mean our specialty sir?
Customer: Sabi ko best food, hindi special tea.
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IN A HOMILY:
Pari: Mga kapatid, kasalanan natin ang gumagamit
ng cellphone habang nagmimisa. We must not
disturb others in prayer.
(Nagring ang cellphone ni father)
Teka muna, my message si Lord.
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ABOUT UTANGS:
Babes: Pare, nakalimutan mo na yata na may
utang ka sa akin ng P800.00
Rene: Hindi pa Babes. Pero, bigyan mo pa ako
ng kaunting panahon at makakalimutan ko
na rin yon.
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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES:
"Lahat ng problema, may solusyon. Kapag walang
solusyon, huwag mo nang problemahin. "
"Always remember, ‘pag kaya ng iba, ipagawa
mo sa kanila, bakit ka pa maghihirap."
"Hindi lahat ng gwapo may girlfriend. Ang marami
sa kanila, may boyfriend."
"Hindi bale ng tamad, hindi naman pagod."
"Practice makes perfect. But nobody is
perfect, so don’t practice."
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SENATE INVESTIGATION:
Cayetano: Tell us, sino ang tinutukoy mong
"mystery man"?
Joey DV: Your honor, I was grossly misquoted.
Hindi ko po sinabing "Mystery man". Malinaw
ko pong sinabi noon "MISTER NI MAM".
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